2013 - April - Are you a writer or a storyteller?

Sol Stein said a writer was someone who could not not write. Trouble is, a 2012 survey found 81% of people say they want to write a novel. Yet, what they don't know is that the secret to writing a good story is becoming a storyteller. A storyteller is not a writer who writes but a writer who is savvy about gaining and holding the attention of a reader so that reader is transported into a story world and remains transfixed until "the end."

How is that accomplished? Again, the secret is realizing that there is a hidden structure to a story. It's like looking at an iceberg—10% is above the water's surface, 90% below. Which means that 90% holds up the beautiful, white, ice that bobs on the top of the ocean's waves.  In other words, in a well-told story,  the reader never sees the writer at work, never sees the underpinnings that support the tale.

To become a storyteller means diving into the art and craft of fiction writing and discovering what devices and techniques need to be employed to tell a story well. Trouble is, I've calculated there are 144 aspects to writing a novel. It's also a fact that those aspects cannot be learned overnight. However, the number one element of craft that has to be mastered first is Point of View (POV) and Viewpoint.  Although the "experts" will use the terms POV and Viewpoint synonymously, they are two separate elements. Here is my succinct and simple definitions:

    POINT OF VIEW is the story's narrator at work relating the story to the reader. POV answers the question: Through whose eyes is the story (or the scene) being observed? A story's narrator can be a character, the author, an omniscient "god" or "fly-on-the-wall," or a "storyteller persona."

    VIEWPOINT is how accurately the story's narrator observes the situation at hand and how they characteristically filter information and sensory perceptions, either consciously or unconsciously as they comment. In other words, the character/narrator's viewpoint is opinionated. That viewpoint may be subjective or objective, or it may fluctuate between the two extremes. It makes them open-minded or closed-minded, ethical or unethical, a coward or a hero. Then add to that all their biases and personal prejudices gathered over a lifetime. Those aspects color and taint their observations about people and that also affects how they deal with the situations they're in.

So, stop thinking about POV-Viewpoint as first person, second person, or third person. Start thinking in terms of whose voice does the reader hear narrating the story. That voice is the key to good
storytelling.

THE SAMPLER IS UPDATED THE FIRST OF EACH MONTH WITH A NEW TOPIC. @2013 by Catherine E. McLean * www.CatherineEmclean.com

MAY 2013's topic - So you're writing your first novel? The Prologue Pitfall

*** ANNOUNCING:  BOOK TITLE GUIDE & CHEAT SHEET
FOR TITILLATING TITLES  (Or how to generate a great story title) is now available exclusively at Rimstone Concepts! 

***Special! Spring-Summer Giveaway 
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2013 - MARCH --- Clutter

"Writing improves in direct ratio to the number of things we can keep out of it that shouldn't be there." — William Zinsser, ON WRITING WELL

So, what shouldn't be in the writing? At the top of my list is unnecessary adjectives and adverbs. These two elements can be necessary, but most writers don't realize how frequently they use them and how they clutter a sentence and a story.

Particularly on the most-watched-for list (also known as your Cheat Sheet for Revision) should be words ending in LY. For example: an exceedingly small mouse. Remove "exceedingly" and you get: a small mouse.  Yet, in doing so, another problem is now revealed: the reader cannot "see" in their mind just how small that mouse is. So, for clarity, why not revise to:  a mouse the size of a matchbox? In other words, flagging LY words helps find areas where you can improve the story.

Okay, someone is saying you just added words!  Yes, I did.  I added effective words that painted a clearer picture in the reader's mind.  I've also adhered to the old adage of "show, don't tell."  (And LY words are the worst of the "telling" words that can be used.)

So, is your writing in need of AAR (Adjective-Adverb Rehabilitation)?  Here's a simple exercise to help you determine that. And, if you do this exercise, please leave me a comment about your statistics or conclusions.

INSTRUCTIONS:

Take one short story or one chapter from your novel.

1) count the total number of words in the sample

2) Use your computer's search feature and type in the find box: ly (space). You need to put a space after the LY to prevent the machine from highlighting words like lying, etc. Count only the LY adjectives and adverbs (which means you can skip words like holy and holly, etc. from the count). Only seek out the adjectives and adverbs.

3) Divide the number of adjectives-adverbs into the number of words in the piece and what you get is the ratio of the average number of times the LY words appear. An actual example: 6083 word sample, 49 LY's, equals 1 LY every 125 words. That's not a bad ratio.

So, how many times do you clutter your words with LYs?   I'd love to know (and add them to my list of ratios).

THIS BLOG IS UPDATED THE FIRST OF EACH MONTH WITH A NEW TOPIC.
@2013 by Catherine E. McLean * www.CatherineEmclean.com

CHECK BACK FOR April 2013'S - Storyteller vs Writer

FEBRUARY 2013 - SIMPLICITY

Circumlocution.
Ambiguity.
Pompousness.
Purple prose.
Roundaboutation . . .



I often wonder what would happen if every would-be writer stopped trying to grab the brass ring of becoming a famous author and was charged $10,000 for every word they set onto their monitor screens and $25,000 for every word they placed in an e-mail. Would that stop the mega-gazillions of words flooding "the cloud," the Internet, blogs, and people's e-mails?  Not to mention what arrives at editors' and agents' desks.  Such wishful thinking . . .

As I said last month, the secret of good writing is clarity and strength. The second secret of good writing is "simplicity."

Simplicity is taking the time to reread what was written and analyze each word, each piece of punctuation, and each sentence's structure. That's right— just stop the finger from hitting the save or send button and reread. Sounds so simple, doesn't it?

Fact is, few go back and reread what they wrote when it comes to blogs and e-mails. Fewer still will reread their story drafts slowly. That's likely due to familiarity with the story and the words, thus glitches and errors will go "unseen."

However, when a reader gets confused, loses track of what's happening to whom, or misinterprets the passage (because of missing words, punctuation pitfalls, etc.), that reader is likely to become frustrated and negatively emotional (angry). Of course, the person the reader blames (and rightfully so) is none other then the person that strung those words together—the writer.

I can't stress enough that readers are not mind-readers. Readers only have the words on the page to go by. Clarity of thought and logic are no accidents. Simplifying for understanding means a writer must switch hats from "creativity" to "editor." Analyzing every word, every sentence, every paragraph also means adopting the KISS mantra of "keep it simple stupid."

So, the question is: Are you willing to take time to simplify your next blog or e-mail entry, or that drafted chapter, or your story manuscript to become a better writer, a more professional writer? If not, why not?

THE SAMPLER IS UPDATED THE FIRST OF EACH MONTH WITH A NEW TOPIC. @2013 by Catherine E. McLean * www.CatherineEmclean.com

Coming in MARCH 2013: "Clutter"
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Interested in having a "Revision is a Process" Cheat Sheet?  Click Here.

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January 2013 - On Writing Well–what does that mean?

    "Good writing has an aliveness that keeps the reader reading from one paragraph to the next, and it's not a question of gimmicks . . . It's a question of using the English language in a way that will achieve the greatest clarity and strength." --William Zinsser/ON WRITING WELL

So, exactly what keeps a reader reading from one paragraph to the next? What is clarity? What is strength?  To be sure, these things have to do with writing an understandable sentence, but for that sentence to be understandable, it must, first of all, have clarity. Take a look at these two sentences:

    1) The door chimed as she entered the shop.

       2)  As she pushed the shop's door open, it grazed the bell-chimes mounted on the lintel.
   
    Which one of the above instantly provided you with an image in your mind? Answer: #2. Oh, you didn't see anything wrong with #1? Let's look at #1.
    First, the door is chiming. Doors are usually very solid items, so how could it make a sound other than to creak on its hinges? Logically, something else triggered the chime sound, right? But what? The reader is clueless. The reader did not instantly visualize how the "door chimed."
    Secondly, the cause-effect is reversed. How do I know this?  Because of the "red flag" warning word, which is "as." Nine times out of ten when "as" appears in a clause at the end of a sentence, that sentence has a reversed cause-effect sequence. What this means is that the person reading the sentence is forced for an instant to stop and adjust "the movie in their mind" so the passage makes logical sense. After all, isn't it logical that a woman would enter a shop through a door and then a chime might go off announcing the door's opening?
    Let's look at what happened in sentence #2: the cause-effect was logical and straightforward so, with clarity, the reader visualized what actually took place. No stopping or exiting the story world (not even for a nanosecond) and thus the strength in sentence #2 keeps the reader reading.
    If you've looked at your work and found such "as"-reversed sentences, I'm inviting you to share one of your originals here and your revision to it in order to help others "see" what happened. And, if you want to ask me to comment, I'll give feedback (either here or privately). Just use use the comment feature below. This offer is good only for the month of January 2013.
   
THE SAMPLER IS UPDATED THE FIRST OF EACH MONTH WITH A NEW TOPIC.
@2013 by Catherine E. McLean * www.CatherineEmclean.com

FEBRUARY 2013's topic will be: "Simplicity"

December 2012 - Widows & Orphans

  
  "Prefer the standard to the offbeat." Strunk & White

    There are two references to "widow and orphans" and these are:

#1 any page where from one to six words takes up a line no matter where it falls on the page (usually the end of a paragraph).

#2 the "keep together" feature of a document that, when on, prevents one line, or partial line, from appearing at the top of a page all by itself.

    A prime example of #1 is the opening paragraph sentence above.

Technically the experts consider widows and orphans as the first line of only a few words that is at the top of a page, thus there would be the odd look of extra white space. Since space is money in any publication, the line with one to six words is wasted. So came into being the "hold together" default feature of word processing programs that keeps widows and orphan words with their paragraphs. That means a page may have less than a 1" bottom margin or an extra blank line making for a 1" plus bottom margin.
    As a writer of fiction, you want to turn off your widows/orphan default feature because book publishers need to know actual lines in use and they don't want "extra" blank lines on any page.
    But here's the thing: spotting a widow or orphaned line is a godsend for tightening prose and gaining extra lines to use elsewhere in a story. Say you find you have three orphan words at the end of a paragraph just setting on a line by themselves. When you look at the paragraph it belongs to, you'll notice the ragged right margin has a lot of white spaces. Now, look at the line with the biggest white space and see if you can:

a) go to the line and swap out a shorter word for a big word, like "infinitesimal" becomes "tiny"

or

b) look for prepositional phrases, clauses, or repetitions of had, that, there, etc. and revise to eliminate them

The upshot is that when the computer resets the paragraph, those orphaned words will vanish.

Here's something else to consider: when I judge contest entries, I often find the last page has only a few lines, or a few paragraphs. Any end-of-chapter page that is not half full is a prime candidate for a widows-orphans check. Based on my own experience, there are enough widows-orphans lines that a writer could gain a page of text (often more). So, if a novel has 28 chapters, that's 28 pages that could be better used and that's 7,000 to 9,268 words that could improve the story. Then again, if an editor says to cut and tighten, well, one way is to look for those widows and orphans and get rid of them.

So, it bears thinking about adding a note to your revision to-do list and look for widows and orphan lines as well as the last page of a chapter for "orphaned" paragraphs. You do have a revision "cheat sheet," don't you?

Because of the publication of my paranormal-fantasy-romance e-book Karma and Mayhem and Jewels of the Sky, a fantasy/sci-fi adventure (a.k.a. my Women's Starscape Fiction), Rimstone Concepts, will be publishing some of my "Cheat Sheets." Currently available for download are: "10 Types of Writers" and "Revision 'Cheat Sheets'–the Overview Process."

If you'd like notification of other Cheat Sheet titles, etc. becoming available, join me at Twitter (which is also where I announce my book releases, public appearances, workshops, guest blogging, interviews, and blog updates, etc.).



Wishing you Happy Holidays and a great New Year!
 
 

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November 2012 - Colons and Semicolons

"Drop ornate punctuation and work toward simplicity." -John Long WRITERS LITTLE BOOK OF WISDOM

    My research has proven that there is a definitive line between those that use semicolons and colons and those that don't. That line separates informal genre fiction writing and literary fiction writing. Yes, every genre has a literary arm in which the level of writing is high enough and the readership is such that it warrants use of colons and semicolons. However, most of the fiction in the marketplace is aimed at ordinary folks which means avoiding use of colons and semicolons because:

1) colons and semicolons are formal, mechanical pieces of punctuation better utilized in business communications and literary and scientific works. Of all the punctuation marks, the colon and semicolon are the most misunderstood and misused and the novice writer, especially, should avoid them or learn or relearn to use them properly.

2) 99% of people do not think or speak in semicolons or colons.   Thus actual dialogue, both spoken and internalizations (thoughts), will not include colons or semicolons. Of course, there will be a rare exception for the highly educated mind or a particularity of personality. However, most story people are "ordinary" people which must appeal to the majority of "ordinary" readers.

3) it was pointed out to me a few months ago by a reader that when they saw the semicolon, they were reminded of an emoticon, that the author was winking back at them. This shocked me because a writer of genre fiction knows the worst thing to have happen is a reader stopping as they read a story. Yet, the winking semicolon is a reality because of the use of semicolons in everyday e-mails.

    What does all this mean?  It means that a writer, and more importantly a storyteller,  has to first know who their reader is and then decide what guideline to use about the semicolon or colon appearing in their own work. If the decision is to write informal genre fiction, then the dash is the substitution of choice for both the colon and semicolon.  The other choice is to rewrite and use simpler sentence structures. After all, dialogue must mimic real speech, not duplicate it and to that end the "rules" of punctuation and grammar don't necessarily apply.  If they are strictly applied, the dialogue becomes stilted and unrealistic to the reader's inner ear.

   As always, adding a check for colons and semicolons is a good idea when revising so consider adding them to your revision check list.  You do have one, don't you?

Stop in next month for Widows and Orphans. 

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October 2012 - Dashes

"When you begin to think about what exactly you're trying to say, you become a writer." --Theodore A.  Rees Cheney, GETTING THE WORDS RIGHT

    If ellipses means to trail off (see September's THE SAMPLER), dashes flag "an abrupt switch or change." Sort of the yin and yang of dialogue, which includes both the spoken words or internalizations (thoughts) of characters.
    Like all punctuation marks, a dash has a "sound of silence" (a certain length of pause) that a reader "hears" as they read and which helps a reader understand what's going on.
    Let's look at common ways dashes are effective in dialogue passages and fiction:

    1) The dash sets aside, like: 

You know him–he's the guy who does the car commercials on TV–the one with three wives.

 Now compare this to:  You know him, he's the guy who does the car commercials on TV, the one with three wives. 

Or: You know him–he's the guy who does the car commercials on TV, the one with three wives. 

All are correct–but did you hear the difference in the delivery? There is a difference. A difference that results from the punctuation. (And if you didn't hear the differences?  Well take the time to start really listening to how your characters speak–and listen to how real people talk. Or even close your eyes while watching TV and listen to your favorite characters speak.)

    2) A dash can "show" stammering, hesitation, faltering by setting a string of words together like: I–I lost it. Or:  I–I–  I lost it.

    3) The dash can show an abrupt switch of thought: He loves me–he loves me not! Compare this to: He loves me, he loves me not. Or: He loves me. He loves me not.

    4) The dash also is used to show an abrupt interruption or cutting off, especially in spoken dialogue between two characters, like:

    "You can't be serious, my boss would never—"
    "Engage in an affair? Jeez, you're so naive!"
   
    5) A dash often inserts vital information or adds an explanation for clarification: She killed him–shot him six times.

    Keep in mind that a dash creates emphatic separation of words. It has a special forcefulness and should be used only when a deliberate effect is needed. Likely the most dash useage will be when a character is under stress, duress, or terrified. And dashes will be more prevalent with first-person and the deepest of third person narrative then any omniscient style of POV and Viewpoint.
    When is a good time to make a pass through a manuscript for dash use or misuse? When it's time to make the last pass for punctuation. You do have a "cheat sheet" for revising your fiction, don't you? If your list of "punctuation to check for" doesn't include the dash, make it so.

Stop back on November 1 for a few words on Colons and semicolons.

Note: for some reason this didn't stay posted during October so I'm reposting it - Catherine

September 2012 - Ellipses

    "Just because your notebook or computer screen will accept anything doesn't mean your readers will." --Paul Raymond Martin, GETTING PUBLISHED

    Reading is more than looking at a word and hearing the sound of it in your mind. Writing to be understood, to share an idea, or to create an image relies on how the words are strung together in sentences and, in particular, on the use of punctuation. It's said that punctuation marks are the road signs that help the reader perceive, understand, and make sense of what is written.
    One of the most misunderstood and misused punctuation marks is the ellipses—those three dots that are especially useful in dialogue (and dialogue includes both the spoken word and internalizations, which are actual thoughts of a character.
    Obviously peppering a page with ellipses is to be avoided because their effect is diminished or their effect is to make a character seem unbelievable. However, what's vital to remember is this: ellipses in genre fiction means only one thing, to trail off.
    In other words, when a character is talking or thinking or doing the narrating, their sentences or thoughts will likely, at certain points, dribble down to nothing, thus that "voice" the reader hears in their mind will trail off and that's the right place to insert an ellipses.
    One other way the ellipses is helpful in fiction writing is to "show" a character's timidity or shyness. Some of the young heroines of author Barbara Cortland were effectively portrayed because of the use of ellipses.
    Another way to think of the use of ellipses is to remember the ellipses, like all punctuation marks, has a specific "pause of silence" which a reader employs in order to comprehend the meaning and emotional aspect of a sentence or sentence fragment. For example, the following punctuation marks change the way the word is "heard" and the meaning (thus showing):

Stop—
Stop.
Stop!
Stop ...

    To make dialogue passages sound more realistic means making one pass during the manuscript's final polishing stage to verify that all ellipses being used actually do mean "to trail off." Your readers will appreciate that. So, add an ellipses check onto your revision to do list–you do have a revision "cheat sheet," don't you?

Stop back on October 1 for a few words on Dashes.

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August 2012 - Big and small

    "A stereotype is to characterization what a cliche is to description."

          -- Gary Provost GETTING THE WORDS RIGHT 

What's wrong with this picture: The big dog bit the little dog?

Right--you cannot visualize, cannot picture, how big or how small or even what kind of "dog" this writer is talking about.Now try this: The Great Dane nipped the tip of the Basset Hound's tail.

Let's face it, in the heat of drafting a lot of words are grabbed, especially words like:

big
enormous
giant
gigantic
huge
large
little
minuscule
short
small
tall
tiny

It is in revising that such words should be hunted down and the sentence revised so that there is imagery for the reader to grasp. In other words, seek nouns and verbs, ones that instantly provide a picture in a reader's mind. For example: It's not a little house, it's a log cabin or a bungalow or an igloo built for two. It's not a large car, it's a stretch limousine. It's not a dog, it's a Doberman.

Of course, sometimes it helps (and adds variety) to use a metaphor or simile, add a comparison, or even use opposites. The result means the reader won't stop to have to puzzle out what the writer actually meant. After all, readers are not mind readers. They only have the words on a page to go by.  So, to make your writing vivid, considering adding the above word list to your revision Cheat Sheet. You do have a check list for revising, don't you?

Stop back on September 1 for a few words on Ellipses.

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July 2012 -- AND and BUT

    "Fluid, easy wording keeps attention on the story, not the writing.--John Long WRITERS LITTLE BOOK OF WISDOM

      One of the first writing no-nos drilled into a writer is to avoid starting sentences with "and" and "but." The second is to stop peppering a page or having "crops of" (i.e., clusters of) "and" and "but." Why? Because repetitions like these drone in a reader's mind and, after a while, on a subconscious level, keep a reader from enjoying the story.
    In drafting the first copy of a story, "and" is particularly used in by the "stream of story consciousness" and "writing by the seat of your pants" writer. This makes for sentences and clause being strung together into what's called a LS--a Long Sentence--or a RO--a Run On sentence. Thus in revision, it's  necessary to look at any sentence that takes up two full lines. Consider this: if a sentence is considered 20 words, two lines in Times New Roman, 12 point font, can run anywhere from 24 to as high as 39 words or more. Long sentences are devilishly awkward to understand because they contain too many elements (clauses and prepositional phrases) as well as too many ideas.
    As to the use of "but," the word has it's place now and then as a conjunction. However, if that conjunction joins two very long sentences, the whole may become overly complicated and require a reader to stop and reread to make sense of what's going on.  As most writers know, nothing a writer does should stop a reader from enjoying the tale.
    Since clarity is also paramount for a reader staying engrossed in the story, it's a wise storyteller who does a pass through their work for "and" and one for "but" and minimize their use. So, add "and" and "but" to your revision cheat sheet. You do have a check list for revising, don't you?
    The blog topic for August 1 will be a few words on Big and small.

Catherine
KARMA AND MAYHEM, a paranormal fantasy romance to be published soon by Soul Mate Publishing -  http://www.karmaandmayhem.blogspot.com

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June 2012 - Had is a Handicap

    "The most useful skill a wrier can acquire is the ability to edit one's work ruthlessly. --Paul Raymond Martin, GETTING PUBLISHED

While browsing Wikipedia, I came across:

1) Had is an alternative for Hadit, the Thelemic version of an Egyptian god.

2) HAD is the abbreviation for Hole Accumulation Diode, a technique for reducing electronic noise.

3) Had is the abbreviation for technology blog hackaday (usually written as HaD

Who knew? However, these oddities aside, for a writer and storyteller "had" is a verb, the simple past tense and past participle of the word "have."

Although had seems like such a little word, an inconsequential word, one to be skimmed over, failure to understand its impact on the reader leads many writers astray. And as useful as had can be when working with past tense, the danger is, of course, overuse either as unintentional "crops of" (repeated in a short space of paragraphs) or "peppering a page or pages."

The second red-flag danger is the "apostrophe D" dilemma. Does an "apostrophe D" mean: had or would? (I'd, He'd, She'd, They'd, etc.). Most people will read it as "had" so, if there will be any doubt--and for clarity's sake--write out "would" and the reader never has to be jarred out of the story to go back and translate.

Of course, had is especially useful when dropping into a bonafide flashback. However, once in the flashback, the idea is to stop peppering the segment with hads and make the flashback run as if it were a scene happening in the now. Then, when it's time, transition out of the flashback with a couple of hads and return to the present story world.

Lastly, there are passivity issues with using had because had is often accompanied by "been."  Such constructions as "had been gone" or "had been seen" should be double checked to see if one good, vivid, image provoking verb might work better or if the sentence needs to be recast.

Of course, a writer cannot eliminate every instance of had or had been but cutting down the frequency helps the reader continue reading (and they won't notice a writer at work). So, place "had" and "apostrophe D" on your revision cheat sheet so you do one pass for them. You do have a revision checklist, right?

Stop by July 1 for a look at "And and But."

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The Sampler - May 2012

To Paragraph or Not to Paragraph

    "A paragraph indentation cues the reader to pause and take a deep breath."  --WRITERS LITTLE BOOK OF WISDOM


Wall-to-wall words is a grey wall that turns readers off.  A manuscript page with four or fewer paragraphs is bordering on wall-to-wall words and so each paragraph should be looked at to see if too many "topics" or "ideas" or "actions" were run together.  Paragraphing is also used to achieve a balance and to control the story's pace.  Both result in the easy flow and enjoyment of reading a story.  Paragraphs also open up a page to white space.  That paragraph-generated white space is an important mechanical device to use judiciously and for effect.

However, an easier way for a writer to understand when to paragraph boils down to thinking of paragraphing like this: The reader is in a theater seat watching the story play out on a stage. Onto that stage comes Character A. The reader is fascinated by Character A and keeps their attention on Character A while he handles props, moves about, thinks, breathes, and speaks.

Now Character B comes on stage to interact with Character A. The instant that Character B entered, the reader immediately switches their attention to what Character B is doing and saying. When Character A replies or reacts to Character B, the reader must switch their attention back to Character A.   In other words, if you're writing genre fiction (not mainstream or literary) every switch of the reader's attention means a new paragraph.

Such switching also applies to a noise or other stage business happening either on stage (like a phone ringing) or a car backfiring on the street outside.  In a nutshell, any worthwhile distraction that the reader must pay attention to gets paragraphed.  For example:

    Marsha grabbed the revolver from under her purse.  She pointed the weapon at John. "Don't make me use this."
    John growled low in his throat and glared at Marsha. "You won't shoot me, I'm your husband!"

    The doorbell chimed.

It's not: 

    Marsha grabbed the revolver off the counter top.
    "Don't make me use this."
    John growled low in his throat.
    He glared at Marsha.
  "You won't shoot me, I'm your husband!" The doorbell chimed.

Another type of paragraphing is the "transition." That is, it's a word, phrase, or as many words as is necessary to alert the reader to a change of location or the passing of time, like: 

             Meanwhile back at the warehouse, Tom cursed his luck.
Or--
          Two hours later, Tom's plane landed at LAX.

What seem to confuse a lot of writers is paragraphing dialogue. Whenever possible, dialogue remains with the focal character who the reader is supposed to be paying attention to.  For example:

    Marsha glanced at the gun she'd laid her purse over. Then she looked at her husband and the hard expression in his eyes frightened her.  He was not about to leave. In as calm and controlled voice she could muster, she said, "Just leave, John.  I don't want any trouble."

Not--

  Marsha glanced at the gun she'd laid her purse over.

  Then she looked at her husband and the hard expression in his eyes frightened her.  

  He was not about to leave. 

  In as calm and controlled voice she could muster, she said, "Just leave, John.  I don't want any trouble."

Lastly, paragraphing helps set the story's pace--short paragraphs increase pace, long ones slow it down.  Short paragraphs with short sentences really speed up the read.  Long sentences in long paragraphs really slows the read to a crawl. Such paragraphs also govern if the material will be formal or informal (i.e., usually literary equals long paragraphs and genre equals short paragraphs). 

As Theodore Rees Cheney said in GETTING THE WORDS RIGHT: A paragraph, for example, might be unified in its subject, scope, tone, style, point of view, character, scene, and tense, but unless all the logical connections between sentences within a paragraph and all the logical connections between paragraphs are clear, the total piece is not coherent.

Cheney also said that no one knows the proper length for a paragraph . . . no one can give any very helpful guidelines for the length of an "average" paragraph.  This is so very true.  Unfortunately, paragraphing is something learned by trial and error and figuring out what works and what doesn't work for the individual style of narration being used and the story being written.  Yet, the more knowledge a writer has, the more educated choices they can make. So, on your revision "cheat sheet" make a note to look at your paragraphing.

And do stop back to this blog on June 1 for The Sampler's: "Had is a Handicap."


Catherine E. McLean
KARMA AND MAYHEM, a paranormal-fantasy-romance from www.soulmatepublishing.com will be published late this summer.   Http://karmaandmayhem.blogspot.com or go to my home web page 
Guest blogging May 1, 2012 on the NINE TYPES OF WRITERS a Strands of Pattern

The Sampler - April 2012 - NUMBERS

"Every writer must fashion an editor's hat and keep it close at hand." --GETTING PUBLISHED by Paul Raymond Martin

When writing fiction, the issue of numbers written out or spelled out can be mind-boggling.  In general when writing numbers for a piece of fiction:

1) All numbers are written out as words.
2) In dialogue, numbers are spoken as words.
3) In internalizations, numbers are thought of in words.

Why is this? Because a person is deeply engrossed in reading what's been written and hears a voice narrating in their head, and then, suddenly, a number appears on the page.  That number is like a red flag waving. Thus for that second the reader is jarred out of the reading enjoyment either consciously or subconsciously. For example, I was reading a Jim Butcher (Dresden Files) book and seven-eighths of the way through the book, my eyes stop on a 5--the number five. This was so unexpected that I stopped and stared at that 5. What was it doing on the page? Hadn't someone edited the book? 

Okay, let's not go there.  Most writers know the quality of manuscripts from the big publishers have deteriorated from what they used to be because editors are processing books, not editing them.  But what about the author?  Hadn't he seen that glitch?

Now, yes, there can be instances where numbers will appear in a manuscript or book, like military time or June 1, 1999, etc. but here's the thing--those numbers don't stop the reader nor do they draw attention to themselves. And that's the key--if you have numbers in your fiction manuscript, be sure they don't stop the reader from reading and enjoying the story.

That being said, I also have to admit that some publishers have their own in-house rules. And you won't know what those rules are until you get a piece accepted by them. Other publishers will state they use the Chicago Manual of Style or the Associate Press Stylebook. Here's the thing, those two texts are the bible for journalists and technical writers, who are nonfiction writers.  (FYI: Both say to write out single-digit numbers like the five.)  So, if you're writing fiction and have been using the journalistic method for writing numbers, it'll be hard to break that habit when writing short stories and novels.  Which means you might want to jot on your "Revision Cheat Sheet" that you should make one pass through your work to look for numbers that should be converted into words.

Stop back to this blog on May 1 for The Sampler's "Paragraphing."  Also check the author-interview that has just been posted at http://writingsfromthefruitcellar.wordpress.com

Catherine E. McLean
***KARMA & MAYHEM- This  paranormal-fantasy-romance will soon be published by www.soulmatepublishing.com
***All updates can be found at my home website -  www.writerscheatsheets.com
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There and There Was

    "Too many words clog the action and blunt the dramatic saber.--John Long, WRITERS LITTLE BOOK OF WISDOM.   
    Are you using a blunt saber by inadvertently employing expletives in your writing? 
    No, I'm not talking about profanity.  I'm talking about "a word or phrase that does not contribute any meaning but is added to fill out a sentence or which stands in place of and anticipates a following word or phrase."  Here are examples of such expletives:

    There was
    There was to be
    There were
    There were to be
    There are
    There is
    There will be
    There came to be
    There weren't
   
   
    The "expletive" is, of course, the word "there."  Like other red-flag words, "there" is overused in manuscripts.  Most often "there" appears at the beginning of a sentence or it will introduces a clause.  Needless to say, using "there" is ambiguous.  It's also passive writing, especially when linked with verbs like was, were, is, etc. 
    Not only does the use and overuse of "there" diminish clarity but it also tells or reports instead of showing through the Point of View and Viewpoint of the narrative.
    So, it's a good idea to add "there" to your Cheat Sheet To-Do List for revisions.  You do have such a personalized cheat sheet, don't you?

Catherine
   
***KARMA & MAYHEM, my fantasy-paranormal romance will soon be published by www.SoulMatePublishing.com
***Updates on my workshop schedule are at my website:  www.WritersCheatSheets.com
***Join me at Linked-In:   http://www.linkedin.com/pub/catherine-e-mclean/7/70b/372   or befriend me at Facebook  http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002397950738
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Stop back to this blog on April 1 for The Sampler's: "Numbers."
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The Sampler - February 2012

    Between Christmas and New Years, I went online to download an e-book to see what one looked like on my e-reader.  After fifteen hours of searching, I didn't download any books.  I would find interesting teasers (back page blurbs and synopses) but, when I went to read the opening pages, the irritating overuse of WAS, WERE, and WAS/WERE-INGS (a WAS or WERE followed by an ING-ending word) made for blatantly boring, omniscient narratives that turned me off.  These e-books read like first drafts--not polished stories.
    As a writer and storyteller, it's been drilled into me that was is a wuss when it comes to action-active, imagery-provoking sentence structures.  But there's another problem with the overuse--the repetition of the sound of "wuz" which buzzes on a subconscious level.  At what point does the word become so irritating that the reader stops reading and throws the book against the wall?  Okay, in reality, I dare not throw my e-reader against anything because it's too costly to replace, but the urge was there.
    I sampled some of those first e-chapter pages for the overuse of WAS and found:  1 WAS every 15, 19, 21, 22, 35, 37, and 43 words.  That's approximately one per sentence!  Extrapolating that, WAS could appear (and buzz, buzz, buzz) anywhere from 6,633 to 2,325 times in a 100,000 word novel.  That's also a range of from 16 to 6 per page.  But, those may be conservative numbers because I came across sentences with doubled-up wases like:  "What she WAS THINKING WAS GIVING her a headache."
    More appalling to me is that one of those e-books had an author's acknowledgment to her critique partners thanking them for their expertise.  Did none of those people tell her about the repetition of WAS and WERE?  Or that she wrote passively?
    Then again, what would make a writer consistently use and overuse WAS and WERE?  Likely it stems from being educated to use the English language, grammar, and punctuation to communicate--to "report" and "tell, not show"--thus generating such passive constructions as The man was bitten by the dog.  No, this passive  sentence cannot be fixed simply by changing WAS BITTEN to the active verb "bite" because that would make no sense (The man bite by the dog.).  "Man" and "dog" are also generalities--they do not evoke a vivid image in a reader's mind.  Better is:  The Doberman bit Charlie, the mailman.  (Now we have a mental picture of what happened and to whom.) 
    Along with WAS and WERE are the "helpers"--those ING-ending words (which are verb-phrases) that should be axed in favor of action-active words.  Such exchanges include:

        Passive        To   Active

        was going             went (but better would be stating
                                        exactly HOW they went)
        were traveling       traveled
        was eating            ate
        were enjoying       enjoyed
        was gathering       gathered
        were generating    generated

    Now after saying how bad WAS and WERE are, I have to also admit they do have their uses and some passivity and telling have merit.  The difference boils down to a writer that writes and a storyteller who knows how to use verbs to create mental pictures for the reader and keeps the reader engrossed in a tale. 
    You might also go to http://pennwritersarea6.wordpress.com. I was their guest blogger talking about how writers sabotage their story.  This blog post included an exercise-challenge on "was."  Consider taking the challenge and see how you fare.
    I also urge you to make one of your self-editing mantras:  WAS is a wuss.  If you do, you'll be ahead of those "rough-draft quality" e-books I keep finding.

Catherine E. McLean
"The writer works hard so that the reader doesn't have to."--CRAFT & TECHNIQUE x Paul Raymond Martin
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Stop back to this blog on March 1 for The Sampler's: "There and There Was."
***Updates on my workshop schedule are at my website:  www.WritersCheatSheets.com
***Join me at Linked-In:   http://www.linkedin.com/pub/catherine-e-mclean/7/70b/372   or befriend me at Facebook  http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002397950738 (and you'll receive notices of workshops and The Sampler topics)
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THE SAMPLER - January 2012 - Pronoun Reference Error: "It"

My American Heritage Dictionary defines a pronoun as: "One of a class of words that function as substitutes for nouns or noun phrases and designate persons or things asked for, previously specified, or understood from the context."  When writing fiction, that translates to the pronoun taking the place of the last noun, thing, or name used.  Why?  Because CLARITY ensures the reader doesn't stop reading to puzzle out what the pronoun refers to.  After all, nothing should ever stop a reader from reading.  Here is a correct example of pronoun usage: "Marsha loved ice cream.  It was her comfort food."  ("It" refers to the ice cream.)   Now consider my dictionary's definition of "it":

Noun. 1. Used to refer to that one previously mentioned. Used of a nonhuman entity; an animate being whose sex is unspecified, unknown, or irrelevant; a group of objects or individuals; or an abstraction. 
2. Used as the subject of an impersonal verb. 
3.a. Used as an anticipatory subject or object. b. Used as an anticipatory subject to emphasize a term that is not itself a subject. 
4. Used to refer to a general condition or state of affairs. 
5. Informal. Used to refer to something that is the best, the most desirable, or without equal. 
--it noun. 1. Games. A player, as in tag, who attempts to find or catch the other players. 2. An animal that has been neutered.

As you can see, using "it" can be mind-boggling.  An example of what can go wrong is:

He dropped the thermometer, securing it to the side of the boat so it dangled in the water.  The temperature held at forty-eight degrees.  It was cold enough to make him shudder.  

Now let's examine that passage for what it actually says:

He dropped the thermometer, securing the thermometer to the side of the boat so the boat dangled in the water.  The temperature held at forty-eight degrees.  Degrees was cold enough to make him shudder.  

The humorous image of the boat dangling is one a reader should not conjure in their mind.  And the last sentence makes no sense because "Degrees" is the subject.  This passage also has what's called a crop of "its."  Crops of are unnecessary repetitions and should be ruthlessly weeded out.  So, let's look at this passage for what was actually meant: 

Using string he'd attached to the top of the thermometer, John lowered the digital device over the side of the dingy.  When the thermometer was half submerged in the water, he secured the line to an oar mount.  Then he leaned over, watching, waiting.  The digits winked and held at 48. 

        Forty-eight degrees.  Would his wet suit keep him warm enough long enough? 

In your mind, you saw what happened as it happened.  You didn't stop and go back to puzzle anything out.  This re-edited passage shows (instead of tells).  Which brings me to: "it" often peppers a page because "it" is one of those "shorthand words" grabbed in the heat of drafting.  In revision, a writer needs to check every "it" and make sure what the last noun, thing, or name used was.

Many writers can discover an "it" problem by using their computer's Find feature.  Why not test your writing right now on five or ten pages?  All you have to do is use the Find feature and type in it, but be sure to put a space before and after the word so the computer doesn't find words with "it" as part of the word.  Each time the machine shows you an "it," highlight the word (or bold the word).  Once you're done, print a hard copy.  What do you see?  Did you pepper a page?  Do you have "crops of?"  Nothing beats a visual to actually see what's what.  Then consider this: if you have a problem in those few pages, it's likely there are hundreds more in the rest of the manuscript to weed out.

For those who don't seem to have a problem with "it," be sure to add a "pronoun reference error check" on your Revision To Do List when you get to the polishing stage for your story.  You want the best possible manuscript to present, so one "it" check may be all you need.

You do have such a checklist, a "cheat sheet" for revising, right?  If not, I urge you to start one now.  Your "cheat sheet" can be a master document created on your computer and then printed to check off as you revise.  Or, your list could be a notebook with a page that you photocopy and line out the items checked.

Why hard copy?  Because hard copy insures accuracy and allows your eyes and mind to focus on specifics.

Knowledge is power.  Always strive to write well and tell a story well--and keep "it" to a minimum.  

Catherine McLean

"Most people don't recognize opportunity because it comes disguised as hard work." -Salada Tea Tag Line

Stop back on February 1 for The Sampler's: "Was is a Wuss."

***Go to my redesigned website for my workshop schedule--www.WritersCheatSheets.com --or join me on Face Book or at Linked-In.