Saturday, September 1, 2012
September 2012 - Ellipses
"Just because your notebook or computer screen will accept anything doesn't mean your readers will." --Paul Raymond Martin, GETTING PUBLISHED
Reading is more than looking at a word and hearing the sound of it in your mind. Writing to be understood, to share an idea, or to create an image relies on how the words are strung together in sentences and, in particular, on the use of punctuation. It's said that punctuation marks are the road signs that help the reader perceive, understand, and make sense of what is written.
One of the most misunderstood and misused punctuation marks is the ellipses—those three dots that are especially useful in dialogue (and dialogue includes both the spoken word and internalizations, which are actual thoughts of a character.
Obviously peppering a page with ellipses is to be avoided because their effect is diminished or their effect is to make a character seem unbelievable. However, what's vital to remember is this: ellipses in genre fiction means only one thing, to trail off.
In other words, when a character is talking or thinking or doing the narrating, their sentences or thoughts will likely, at certain points, dribble down to nothing, thus that "voice" the reader hears in their mind will trail off and that's the right place to insert an ellipses.
One other way the ellipses is helpful in fiction writing is to "show" a character's timidity or shyness. Some of the young heroines of author Barbara Cortland were effectively portrayed because of the use of ellipses.
Another way to think of the use of ellipses is to remember the ellipses, like all punctuation marks, has a specific "pause of silence" which a reader employs in order to comprehend the meaning and emotional aspect of a sentence or sentence fragment. For example, the following punctuation marks change the way the word is "heard" and the meaning (thus showing):
Stop—
Stop.
Stop!
Stop ...
To make dialogue passages sound more realistic means making one pass during the manuscript's final polishing stage to verify that all ellipses being used actually do mean "to trail off." Your readers will appreciate that. So, add an ellipses check onto your revision to do list–you do have a revision "cheat sheet," don't you?
Stop back on October 1 for a few words on Dashes.
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Wednesday, August 1, 2012
August 2012 - Big and small
"A stereotype is to characterization what a cliche is to description."
-- Gary Provost GETTING THE WORDS RIGHT
What's wrong with this picture: The big dog bit the little dog?
Right--you cannot visualize, cannot picture, how big or how small or even what kind of "dog" this writer is talking about.Now try this: The Great Dane nipped the tip of the Basset Hound's tail.
Let's face it, in the heat of drafting a lot of words are grabbed, especially words like:
big
enormous
giant
gigantic
huge
large
little
minuscule
short
small
tall
tiny
It is in revising that such words should be hunted down and the sentence revised so that there is imagery for the reader to grasp. In other words, seek nouns and verbs, ones that instantly provide a picture in a reader's mind. For example: It's not a little house, it's a log cabin or a bungalow or an igloo built for two. It's not a large car, it's a stretch limousine. It's not a dog, it's a Doberman.
Of course, sometimes it helps (and adds variety) to use a metaphor or simile, add a comparison, or even use opposites. The result means the reader won't stop to have to puzzle out what the writer actually meant. After all, readers are not mind readers. They only have the words on a page to go by. So, to make your writing vivid, considering adding the above word list to your revision Cheat Sheet. You do have a check list for revising, don't you?
Stop back on September 1 for a few words on Ellipses.
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Monday, July 2, 2012
July 2012 -- AND and BUT
"Fluid, easy wording keeps attention on the story, not the writing.--John Long WRITERS LITTLE BOOK OF WISDOM
One of the first writing no-nos drilled into a writer is to avoid starting sentences with "and" and "but." The second is to stop peppering a page or having "crops of" (i.e., clusters of) "and" and "but." Why? Because repetitions like these drone in a reader's mind and, after a while, on a subconscious level, keep a reader from enjoying the story.
In drafting the first copy of a story, "and" is particularly used in by the "stream of story consciousness" and "writing by the seat of your pants" writer. This makes for sentences and clause being strung together into what's called a LS--a Long Sentence--or a RO--a Run On sentence. Thus in revision, it's necessary to look at any sentence that takes up two full lines. Consider this: if a sentence is considered 20 words, two lines in Times New Roman, 12 point font, can run anywhere from 24 to as high as 39 words or more. Long sentences are devilishly awkward to understand because they contain too many elements (clauses and prepositional phrases) as well as too many ideas.
As to the use of "but," the word has it's place now and then as a conjunction. However, if that conjunction joins two very long sentences, the whole may become overly complicated and require a reader to stop and reread to make sense of what's going on. As most writers know, nothing a writer does should stop a reader from enjoying the tale.
Since clarity is also paramount for a reader staying engrossed in the story, it's a wise storyteller who does a pass through their work for "and" and one for "but" and minimize their use. So, add "and" and "but" to your revision cheat sheet. You do have a check list for revising, don't you?
The blog topic for August 1 will be a few words on Big and small.
Catherine
KARMA AND MAYHEM, a paranormal fantasy romance to be published soon by Soul Mate Publishing - http://www.karmaandmayhem.blogspot.com
# # #
One of the first writing no-nos drilled into a writer is to avoid starting sentences with "and" and "but." The second is to stop peppering a page or having "crops of" (i.e., clusters of) "and" and "but." Why? Because repetitions like these drone in a reader's mind and, after a while, on a subconscious level, keep a reader from enjoying the story.
In drafting the first copy of a story, "and" is particularly used in by the "stream of story consciousness" and "writing by the seat of your pants" writer. This makes for sentences and clause being strung together into what's called a LS--a Long Sentence--or a RO--a Run On sentence. Thus in revision, it's necessary to look at any sentence that takes up two full lines. Consider this: if a sentence is considered 20 words, two lines in Times New Roman, 12 point font, can run anywhere from 24 to as high as 39 words or more. Long sentences are devilishly awkward to understand because they contain too many elements (clauses and prepositional phrases) as well as too many ideas.
As to the use of "but," the word has it's place now and then as a conjunction. However, if that conjunction joins two very long sentences, the whole may become overly complicated and require a reader to stop and reread to make sense of what's going on. As most writers know, nothing a writer does should stop a reader from enjoying the tale.
Since clarity is also paramount for a reader staying engrossed in the story, it's a wise storyteller who does a pass through their work for "and" and one for "but" and minimize their use. So, add "and" and "but" to your revision cheat sheet. You do have a check list for revising, don't you?
The blog topic for August 1 will be a few words on Big and small.
Catherine
KARMA AND MAYHEM, a paranormal fantasy romance to be published soon by Soul Mate Publishing - http://www.karmaandmayhem.blogspot.com
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Thursday, May 31, 2012
June 2012 - Had is a Handicap
"The most useful skill a wrier can acquire is the ability to edit one's work ruthlessly. --Paul Raymond Martin, GETTING PUBLISHED
While browsing Wikipedia, I came across:
1) Had is an alternative for Hadit, the Thelemic version of an Egyptian god.
2) HAD is the abbreviation for Hole Accumulation Diode, a technique for reducing electronic noise.
3) Had is the abbreviation for technology blog hackaday (usually written as HaD
Who knew? However, these oddities aside, for a writer and storyteller "had" is a verb, the simple past tense and past participle of the word "have."
Although had seems like such a little word, an inconsequential word, one to be skimmed over, failure to understand its impact on the reader leads many writers astray. And as useful as had can be when working with past tense, the danger is, of course, overuse either as unintentional "crops of" (repeated in a short space of paragraphs) or "peppering a page or pages."
The second red-flag danger is the "apostrophe D" dilemma. Does an "apostrophe D" mean: had or would? (I'd, He'd, She'd, They'd, etc.). Most people will read it as "had" so, if there will be any doubt--and for clarity's sake--write out "would" and the reader never has to be jarred out of the story to go back and translate.
Of course, had is especially useful when dropping into a bonafide flashback. However, once in the flashback, the idea is to stop peppering the segment with hads and make the flashback run as if it were a scene happening in the now. Then, when it's time, transition out of the flashback with a couple of hads and return to the present story world.
Lastly, there are passivity issues with using had because had is often accompanied by "been." Such constructions as "had been gone" or "had been seen" should be double checked to see if one good, vivid, image provoking verb might work better or if the sentence needs to be recast.
Of course, a writer cannot eliminate every instance of had or had been but cutting down the frequency helps the reader continue reading (and they won't notice a writer at work). So, place "had" and "apostrophe D" on your revision cheat sheet so you do one pass for them. You do have a revision checklist, right?
Stop by July 1 for a look at "And and But."
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Tuesday, May 1, 2012
The Sampler - May 2012
To Paragraph or Not to Paragraph
"A paragraph indentation cues the reader to pause and take a deep breath." --WRITERS LITTLE BOOK OF WISDOM
Wall-to-wall words is a grey wall that turns readers off. A manuscript page with four or fewer paragraphs is bordering on wall-to-wall words and so each paragraph should be looked at to see if too many "topics" or "ideas" or "actions" were run together. Paragraphing is also used to achieve a balance and to control the story's pace. Both result in the easy flow and enjoyment of reading a story. Paragraphs also open up a page to white space. That paragraph-generated white space is an important mechanical device to use judiciously and for effect.
"A paragraph indentation cues the reader to pause and take a deep breath." --WRITERS LITTLE BOOK OF WISDOM
Wall-to-wall words is a grey wall that turns readers off. A manuscript page with four or fewer paragraphs is bordering on wall-to-wall words and so each paragraph should be looked at to see if too many "topics" or "ideas" or "actions" were run together. Paragraphing is also used to achieve a balance and to control the story's pace. Both result in the easy flow and enjoyment of reading a story. Paragraphs also open up a page to white space. That paragraph-generated white space is an important mechanical device to use judiciously and for effect.
However, an easier way for a writer to understand when to paragraph boils down to thinking of paragraphing like this: The reader is in a theater seat watching the story play out on a stage. Onto that stage comes Character A. The reader is fascinated by Character A and keeps their attention on Character A while he handles props, moves about, thinks, breathes, and speaks.
Now Character B comes on stage to interact with Character A. The instant that Character B entered, the reader immediately switches their attention to what Character B is doing and saying. When Character A replies or reacts to Character B, the reader must switch their attention back to Character A. In other words, if you're writing genre fiction (not mainstream or literary) every switch of the reader's attention means a new paragraph.
Such switching also applies to a noise or other stage business happening either on stage (like a phone ringing) or a car backfiring on the street outside. In a nutshell, any worthwhile distraction that the reader must pay attention to gets paragraphed. For example:
Marsha grabbed the revolver from under her purse. She pointed the weapon at John. "Don't make me use this."
John growled low in his throat and glared at Marsha. "You won't shoot me, I'm your husband!"
Now Character B comes on stage to interact with Character A. The instant that Character B entered, the reader immediately switches their attention to what Character B is doing and saying. When Character A replies or reacts to Character B, the reader must switch their attention back to Character A. In other words, if you're writing genre fiction (not mainstream or literary) every switch of the reader's attention means a new paragraph.
Such switching also applies to a noise or other stage business happening either on stage (like a phone ringing) or a car backfiring on the street outside. In a nutshell, any worthwhile distraction that the reader must pay attention to gets paragraphed. For example:
Marsha grabbed the revolver from under her purse. She pointed the weapon at John. "Don't make me use this."
John growled low in his throat and glared at Marsha. "You won't shoot me, I'm your husband!"
The doorbell chimed.
It's not:
It's not:
Marsha grabbed the revolver off the counter top.
"Don't make me use this."
John growled low in his throat.
He glared at Marsha.
"You won't shoot me, I'm your husband!" The doorbell chimed.
Another type of paragraphing is the "transition." That is, it's a word, phrase, or as many words as is necessary to alert the reader to a change of location or the passing of time, like:
Meanwhile back at the warehouse, Tom cursed his luck.
Or--
Two hours later, Tom's plane landed at LAX.
What seem to confuse a lot of writers is paragraphing dialogue. Whenever possible, dialogue remains with the focal character who the reader is supposed to be paying attention to. For example:
Marsha glanced at the gun she'd laid her purse over. Then she looked at her husband and the hard expression in his eyes frightened her. He was not about to leave. In as calm and controlled voice she could muster, she said, "Just leave, John. I don't want any trouble."
Not--
Marsha
glanced at the gun she'd laid her purse over.
Then she looked at her
husband and the hard expression in his eyes frightened her.
He was not
about to leave.
In as calm and controlled voice she could muster, she
said, "Just leave, John. I don't want any trouble."
Lastly, paragraphing helps set the story's pace--short paragraphs increase pace, long ones slow it down. Short paragraphs with short sentences really speed up the read. Long sentences in long paragraphs really slows the read to a crawl. Such paragraphs also govern if the material will be formal or informal (i.e., usually literary equals long paragraphs and genre equals short paragraphs).
As Theodore Rees Cheney said in GETTING THE WORDS RIGHT: A paragraph, for example, might be unified in its subject, scope, tone, style, point of view, character, scene, and tense, but unless all the logical connections between sentences within a paragraph and all the logical connections between paragraphs are clear, the total piece is not coherent.
Cheney also said that no one knows the proper length for a paragraph . . . no one can give any very helpful guidelines for the length of an "average" paragraph. This is so very true. Unfortunately, paragraphing is something learned by trial and error and figuring out what works and what doesn't work for the individual style of narration being used and the story being written. Yet, the more knowledge a writer has, the more educated choices they can make. So, on your revision "cheat sheet" make a note to look at your paragraphing.
Lastly, paragraphing helps set the story's pace--short paragraphs increase pace, long ones slow it down. Short paragraphs with short sentences really speed up the read. Long sentences in long paragraphs really slows the read to a crawl. Such paragraphs also govern if the material will be formal or informal (i.e., usually literary equals long paragraphs and genre equals short paragraphs).
As Theodore Rees Cheney said in GETTING THE WORDS RIGHT: A paragraph, for example, might be unified in its subject, scope, tone, style, point of view, character, scene, and tense, but unless all the logical connections between sentences within a paragraph and all the logical connections between paragraphs are clear, the total piece is not coherent.
Cheney also said that no one knows the proper length for a paragraph . . . no one can give any very helpful guidelines for the length of an "average" paragraph. This is so very true. Unfortunately, paragraphing is something learned by trial and error and figuring out what works and what doesn't work for the individual style of narration being used and the story being written. Yet, the more knowledge a writer has, the more educated choices they can make. So, on your revision "cheat sheet" make a note to look at your paragraphing.
And do stop back to this blog on June 1 for The Sampler's: "Had is a Handicap."
Catherine E. McLean
KARMA AND MAYHEM, a paranormal-fantasy-romance from www.soulmatepublishing.com will be published late this summer. Http://karmaandmayhem.blogspot.com or go to my home web page
Guest blogging May 1, 2012 on the NINE TYPES OF WRITERS a Strands of Pattern
Sunday, April 1, 2012
The Sampler - April 2012 - NUMBERS
"Every writer must fashion an editor's hat and keep it close at hand." --GETTING PUBLISHED by Paul Raymond Martin
When writing fiction, the issue of numbers written out or spelled out can be mind-boggling. In general when writing numbers for a piece of fiction:
1) All numbers are written out as words.
2) In dialogue, numbers are spoken as words.
3) In internalizations, numbers are thought of in words.
Why is this? Because a person is deeply engrossed in reading what's been written and hears a voice narrating in their head, and then, suddenly, a number appears on the page. That number is like a red flag waving. Thus for that second the reader is jarred out of the reading enjoyment either consciously or subconsciously. For example, I was reading a Jim Butcher (Dresden Files) book and seven-eighths of the way through the book, my eyes stop on a 5--the number five. This was so unexpected that I stopped and stared at that 5. What was it doing on the page? Hadn't someone edited the book?
Okay, let's not go there. Most writers know the quality of manuscripts from the big publishers have deteriorated from what they used to be because editors are processing books, not editing them. But what about the author? Hadn't he seen that glitch?
Now, yes, there can be instances where numbers will appear in a manuscript or book, like military time or June 1, 1999, etc. but here's the thing--those numbers don't stop the reader nor do they draw attention to themselves. And that's the key--if you have numbers in your fiction manuscript, be sure they don't stop the reader from reading and enjoying the story.
That being said, I also have to admit that some publishers have their own in-house rules. And you won't know what those rules are until you get a piece accepted by them. Other publishers will state they use the Chicago Manual of Style or the Associate Press Stylebook. Here's the thing, those two texts are the bible for journalists and technical writers, who are nonfiction writers. (FYI: Both say to write out single-digit numbers like the five.) So, if you're writing fiction and have been using the journalistic method for writing numbers, it'll be hard to break that habit when writing short stories and novels. Which means you might want to jot on your "Revision Cheat Sheet" that you should make one pass through your work to look for numbers that should be converted into words.
Stop back to this blog on May 1 for The Sampler's "Paragraphing." Also check the author-interview that has just been posted at http://writingsfromthefruitcellar.wordpress.com
Catherine E. McLean
***KARMA & MAYHEM- This paranormal-fantasy-romance will soon be published by www.soulmatepublishing.com
***All updates can be found at my home website - www.writerscheatsheets.com
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Friday, March 2, 2012
There and There Was
"Too many words clog the action and blunt the dramatic saber.--John Long, WRITERS LITTLE BOOK OF WISDOM.
Are you using a blunt saber by inadvertently employing expletives in your writing?
No, I'm not talking about profanity. I'm talking about "a word or phrase that does not contribute any meaning but is added to fill out a sentence or which stands in place of and anticipates a following word or phrase." Here are examples of such expletives:
There was
There was to be
There were
There were to be
There are
There is
There will be
There came to be
There weren't
The "expletive" is, of course, the word "there." Like other red-flag words, "there" is overused in manuscripts. Most often "there" appears at the beginning of a sentence or it will introduces a clause. Needless to say, using "there" is ambiguous. It's also passive writing, especially when linked with verbs like was, were, is, etc.
Not only does the use and overuse of "there" diminish clarity but it also tells or reports instead of showing through the Point of View and Viewpoint of the narrative.
So, it's a good idea to add "there" to your Cheat Sheet To-Do List for revisions. You do have such a personalized cheat sheet, don't you?
Catherine
***KARMA & MAYHEM, my fantasy-paranormal romance will soon be published by www.SoulMatePublishing.com
***Updates on my workshop schedule are at my website: www.WritersCheatSheets.com
***Join me at Linked-In: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/catherine-e-mclean/7/70b/372 or befriend me at Facebook http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002397950738
******
Stop back to this blog on April 1 for The Sampler's: "Numbers."
******
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Are you using a blunt saber by inadvertently employing expletives in your writing?
No, I'm not talking about profanity. I'm talking about "a word or phrase that does not contribute any meaning but is added to fill out a sentence or which stands in place of and anticipates a following word or phrase." Here are examples of such expletives:
There was
There was to be
There were
There were to be
There are
There is
There will be
There came to be
There weren't
The "expletive" is, of course, the word "there." Like other red-flag words, "there" is overused in manuscripts. Most often "there" appears at the beginning of a sentence or it will introduces a clause. Needless to say, using "there" is ambiguous. It's also passive writing, especially when linked with verbs like was, were, is, etc.
Not only does the use and overuse of "there" diminish clarity but it also tells or reports instead of showing through the Point of View and Viewpoint of the narrative.
So, it's a good idea to add "there" to your Cheat Sheet To-Do List for revisions. You do have such a personalized cheat sheet, don't you?
Catherine
***KARMA & MAYHEM, my fantasy-paranormal romance will soon be published by www.SoulMatePublishing.com
***Updates on my workshop schedule are at my website: www.WritersCheatSheets.com
***Join me at Linked-In: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/catherine-e-mclean/7/70b/372 or befriend me at Facebook http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002397950738
******
Stop back to this blog on April 1 for The Sampler's: "Numbers."
******
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Tuesday, January 31, 2012
The Sampler - February 2012
Between Christmas and New Years, I went online to download an e-book to see what one looked like on my e-reader. After fifteen hours of searching, I didn't download any books. I would find interesting teasers (back page blurbs and synopses) but, when I went to read the opening pages, the irritating overuse of WAS, WERE, and WAS/WERE-INGS (a WAS or WERE followed by an ING-ending word) made for blatantly boring, omniscient narratives that turned me off. These e-books read like first drafts--not polished stories.
As a writer and storyteller, it's been drilled into me that was is a wuss when it comes to action-active, imagery-provoking sentence structures. But there's another problem with the overuse--the repetition of the sound of "wuz" which buzzes on a subconscious level. At what point does the word become so irritating that the reader stops reading and throws the book against the wall? Okay, in reality, I dare not throw my e-reader against anything because it's too costly to replace, but the urge was there.
I sampled some of those first e-chapter pages for the overuse of WAS and found: 1 WAS every 15, 19, 21, 22, 35, 37, and 43 words. That's approximately one per sentence! Extrapolating that, WAS could appear (and buzz, buzz, buzz) anywhere from 6,633 to 2,325 times in a 100,000 word novel. That's also a range of from 16 to 6 per page. But, those may be conservative numbers because I came across sentences with doubled-up wases like: "What she WAS THINKING WAS GIVING her a headache."
More appalling to me is that one of those e-books had an author's acknowledgment to her critique partners thanking them for their expertise. Did none of those people tell her about the repetition of WAS and WERE? Or that she wrote passively?
Then again, what would make a writer consistently use and overuse WAS and WERE? Likely it stems from being educated to use the English language, grammar, and punctuation to communicate--to "report" and "tell, not show"--thus generating such passive constructions as The man was bitten by the dog. No, this passive sentence cannot be fixed simply by changing WAS BITTEN to the active verb "bite" because that would make no sense (The man bite by the dog.). "Man" and "dog" are also generalities--they do not evoke a vivid image in a reader's mind. Better is: The Doberman bit Charlie, the mailman. (Now we have a mental picture of what happened and to whom.)
Along with WAS and WERE are the "helpers"--those ING-ending words (which are verb-phrases) that should be axed in favor of action-active words. Such exchanges include:
Passive To Active
was going went (but better would be stating
exactly HOW they went)
were traveling traveled
was eating ate
were enjoying enjoyed
was gathering gathered
were generating generated
Now after saying how bad WAS and WERE are, I have to also admit they do have their uses and some passivity and telling have merit. The difference boils down to a writer that writes and a storyteller who knows how to use verbs to create mental pictures for the reader and keeps the reader engrossed in a tale.
You might also go to http://pennwritersarea6.wordpress.com. I was their guest blogger talking about how writers sabotage their story. This blog post included an exercise-challenge on "was." Consider taking the challenge and see how you fare.
I also urge you to make one of your self-editing mantras: WAS is a wuss. If you do, you'll be ahead of those "rough-draft quality" e-books I keep finding.
Catherine E. McLean
"The writer works hard so that the reader doesn't have to."--CRAFT & TECHNIQUE x Paul Raymond Martin
******
Stop back to this blog on March 1 for The Sampler's: "There and There Was."
***Updates on my workshop schedule are at my website: www.WritersCheatSheets.com
***Join me at Linked-In: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/catherine-e-mclean/7/70b/372 or befriend me at Facebook http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002397950738 (and you'll receive notices of workshops and The Sampler topics)
# # #
As a writer and storyteller, it's been drilled into me that was is a wuss when it comes to action-active, imagery-provoking sentence structures. But there's another problem with the overuse--the repetition of the sound of "wuz" which buzzes on a subconscious level. At what point does the word become so irritating that the reader stops reading and throws the book against the wall? Okay, in reality, I dare not throw my e-reader against anything because it's too costly to replace, but the urge was there.
I sampled some of those first e-chapter pages for the overuse of WAS and found: 1 WAS every 15, 19, 21, 22, 35, 37, and 43 words. That's approximately one per sentence! Extrapolating that, WAS could appear (and buzz, buzz, buzz) anywhere from 6,633 to 2,325 times in a 100,000 word novel. That's also a range of from 16 to 6 per page. But, those may be conservative numbers because I came across sentences with doubled-up wases like: "What she WAS THINKING WAS GIVING her a headache."
More appalling to me is that one of those e-books had an author's acknowledgment to her critique partners thanking them for their expertise. Did none of those people tell her about the repetition of WAS and WERE? Or that she wrote passively?
Then again, what would make a writer consistently use and overuse WAS and WERE? Likely it stems from being educated to use the English language, grammar, and punctuation to communicate--to "report" and "tell, not show"--thus generating such passive constructions as The man was bitten by the dog. No, this passive sentence cannot be fixed simply by changing WAS BITTEN to the active verb "bite" because that would make no sense (The man bite by the dog.). "Man" and "dog" are also generalities--they do not evoke a vivid image in a reader's mind. Better is: The Doberman bit Charlie, the mailman. (Now we have a mental picture of what happened and to whom.)
Along with WAS and WERE are the "helpers"--those ING-ending words (which are verb-phrases) that should be axed in favor of action-active words. Such exchanges include:
Passive To Active
was going went (but better would be stating
exactly HOW they went)
were traveling traveled
was eating ate
were enjoying enjoyed
was gathering gathered
were generating generated
Now after saying how bad WAS and WERE are, I have to also admit they do have their uses and some passivity and telling have merit. The difference boils down to a writer that writes and a storyteller who knows how to use verbs to create mental pictures for the reader and keeps the reader engrossed in a tale.
You might also go to http://pennwritersarea6.wordpress.com. I was their guest blogger talking about how writers sabotage their story. This blog post included an exercise-challenge on "was." Consider taking the challenge and see how you fare.
I also urge you to make one of your self-editing mantras: WAS is a wuss. If you do, you'll be ahead of those "rough-draft quality" e-books I keep finding.
Catherine E. McLean
"The writer works hard so that the reader doesn't have to."--CRAFT & TECHNIQUE x Paul Raymond Martin
******
Stop back to this blog on March 1 for The Sampler's: "There and There Was."
***Updates on my workshop schedule are at my website: www.WritersCheatSheets.com
***Join me at Linked-In: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/catherine-e-mclean/7/70b/372 or befriend me at Facebook http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002397950738 (and you'll receive notices of workshops and The Sampler topics)
# # #
Saturday, December 31, 2011
THE SAMPLER - January 2012 - Pronoun Reference Error: "It"
My American Heritage Dictionary defines a pronoun as: "One of a class of words that function as substitutes for nouns or noun phrases and designate persons or things asked for, previously specified, or understood from the context." When writing fiction, that translates to the pronoun taking the place of the last noun, thing, or name used. Why? Because CLARITY ensures the reader doesn't stop reading to puzzle out what the pronoun refers to. After all, nothing should ever stop a reader from reading. Here is a correct example of pronoun usage: "Marsha loved ice cream. It was her comfort food." ("It" refers to the ice cream.) Now consider my dictionary's definition of "it":
Noun. 1. Used to refer to that one previously mentioned. Used of a nonhuman entity; an animate being whose sex is unspecified, unknown, or irrelevant; a group of objects or individuals; or an abstraction.
2. Used as the subject of an impersonal verb.
3.a. Used as an anticipatory subject or object. b. Used as an anticipatory subject to emphasize a term that is not itself a subject.
4. Used to refer to a general condition or state of affairs.
5. Informal. Used to refer to something that is the best, the most desirable, or without equal.
--it noun. 1. Games. A player, as in tag, who attempts to find or catch the other players. 2. An animal that has been neutered.
As you can see, using "it" can be mind-boggling. An example of what can go wrong is:
The humorous image of the boat dangling is one a reader should not conjure in their mind. And the last sentence makes no sense because "Degrees" is the subject. This passage also has what's called a crop of "its." Crops of are unnecessary repetitions and should be ruthlessly weeded out. So, let's look at this passage for what was actually meant:
In your mind, you saw what happened as it happened. You didn't stop and go back to puzzle anything out. This re-edited passage shows (instead of tells). Which brings me to: "it" often peppers a page because "it" is one of those "shorthand words" grabbed in the heat of drafting. In revision, a writer needs to check every "it" and make sure what the last noun, thing, or name used was.
2. Used as the subject of an impersonal verb.
3.a. Used as an anticipatory subject or object. b. Used as an anticipatory subject to emphasize a term that is not itself a subject.
4. Used to refer to a general condition or state of affairs.
5. Informal. Used to refer to something that is the best, the most desirable, or without equal.
--it noun. 1. Games. A player, as in tag, who attempts to find or catch the other players. 2. An animal that has been neutered.
As you can see, using "it" can be mind-boggling. An example of what can go wrong is:
He dropped the thermometer, securing it to the side of the boat so it dangled in the water. The temperature held at forty-eight degrees. It was cold enough to make him shudder.
Now let's examine that passage for what it actually says:
He dropped the thermometer, securing the thermometer to the side of the boat so the boat dangled in the water. The temperature held at forty-eight degrees. Degrees was cold enough to make him shudder.
The humorous image of the boat dangling is one a reader should not conjure in their mind. And the last sentence makes no sense because "Degrees" is the subject. This passage also has what's called a crop of "its." Crops of are unnecessary repetitions and should be ruthlessly weeded out. So, let's look at this passage for what was actually meant:
Using string he'd attached to the top of the thermometer, John lowered the digital device over the side of the dingy. When the thermometer was half submerged in the water, he secured the line to an oar mount. Then he leaned over, watching, waiting. The digits winked and held at 48.
Forty-eight degrees. Would his wet suit keep him warm enough long enough?
In your mind, you saw what happened as it happened. You didn't stop and go back to puzzle anything out. This re-edited passage shows (instead of tells). Which brings me to: "it" often peppers a page because "it" is one of those "shorthand words" grabbed in the heat of drafting. In revision, a writer needs to check every "it" and make sure what the last noun, thing, or name used was.
Many writers can discover an "it" problem by using their computer's Find feature. Why not test your writing right now on five or ten pages? All you have to do is use the Find feature and type in it, but be sure to put a space before and after the word so the computer doesn't find words with "it" as part of the word. Each time the machine shows you an "it," highlight the word (or bold the word). Once you're done, print a hard copy. What do you see? Did you pepper a page? Do you have "crops of?" Nothing beats a visual to actually see what's what. Then consider this: if you have a problem in those few pages, it's likely there are hundreds more in the rest of the manuscript to weed out.
For those who don't seem to have a problem with "it," be sure to add a "pronoun reference error check" on your Revision To Do List when you get to the polishing stage for your story. You want the best possible manuscript to present, so one "it" check may be all you need.
You do have such a checklist, a "cheat sheet" for revising, right? If not, I urge you to start one now. Your "cheat sheet" can be a master document created on your computer and then printed to check off as you revise. Or, your list could be a notebook with a page that you photocopy and line out the items checked.
Why hard copy? Because hard copy insures accuracy and allows your eyes and mind to focus on specifics.
Knowledge is power. Always strive to write well and tell a story well--and keep "it" to a minimum.
Catherine McLean
"Most people don't recognize opportunity because it comes disguised as hard work." -Salada Tea Tag Line
Stop back on February 1 for The Sampler's: "Was is a Wuss."
***Go to my redesigned website for my workshop schedule--www.WritersCheatSheets.com --or join me on Face Book or at Linked-In.
Friday, December 16, 2011
The Sampler - December
Which writing technique should be mastered first when tackling fiction? Over the years of editing and evaluating manuscripts, I'd have to say that Point of View (POV) and Viewpoint, which, by the way, are two separate entities are paramount. Why? Because 90% of the errors made with show-don't-tell, cause-effect sequences, dialogue (internal and spoken), and more stem from errors made in the choice and scope of POV and Viewpoint employed in storytelling.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Website Changing
Push has come to shove. Actually, things have stopped working on my original Website so I'm in the process of putting a new one together. What that means is that "The Sampler" will become part of my blog.
Catherine
Catherine
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Short Story Published
Usually around Thanksgiving time it seems editors are clearing their desks and I usually get rejection notices. Not this Thanksgiving. Instead I received payment for my lighthearted science fiction short story "Adrada's Knot" which has been published in the November 2011 Issue #28 of NOVA Science Fiction magazine!
Catherine
Catherine
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Changing Seasons
This summer has passed all too quickly but it has been a great summer of 4-H and fairs. As a 4-H leader, I am especially proud of my Kitchen Magicians because three entered the Hershey's Cookie, Brownie, and Bar Baking Contest and at the Cochranton Community Fair they swept the awards by taking first, second, and third. The first place went to an 8-year old boy who joined the club this February. Second place went to a girl, her second year in the club, and the third place went to the brother of the first place winner who is a second year 4-Her. This makes seven kids I've coached to win or take ribbons in a Hershey contest.
At their 4-HProject Review, all the members of the club took blue ribbons so, for the second straight year, I have all blue-ribbon winning 4-Hers! Yep, I'm proud of the kids.
However, even I had an astounding season of exhibiting my sewing and crafts at the local fairs. Every project entered took a ribbon (the first place blue ribbons dominated the cache). Even more astounding was that after 55 years of exhibiting, I won my first special award--for Best Creative Embellishment of a Garment. When I saw that yellow checkered ribbon and place-card, I must have stared at it for five minutes before it hit me what I'd done. This winning project was a Fancy Apron--a Christmas apron. (See photo) The embellishment, besides the double row of lace, the bias binding, and the silver rickrack, was the elf-hat pocket that matched one of the elf-hats on the material. I scanned a section of the fabric into my computer, enlarged it to pocket-size, and duplicated the elf-hat in satin, fur, felt, grosgrain ribbon, and added a little gold buckle.
What a great summer this has been. Yet, summer has waned. Here it is Labor Day Weekend and I realize I now have to get back to giving workshops for writers, drafting a new novel (a Fantasy Romance), and sewing for next year's fairs.
At their 4-HProject Review, all the members of the club took blue ribbons so, for the second straight year, I have all blue-ribbon winning 4-Hers! Yep, I'm proud of the kids.
However, even I had an astounding season of exhibiting my sewing and crafts at the local fairs. Every project entered took a ribbon (the first place blue ribbons dominated the cache). Even more astounding was that after 55 years of exhibiting, I won my first special award--for Best Creative Embellishment of a Garment. When I saw that yellow checkered ribbon and place-card, I must have stared at it for five minutes before it hit me what I'd done. This winning project was a Fancy Apron--a Christmas apron. (See photo) The embellishment, besides the double row of lace, the bias binding, and the silver rickrack, was the elf-hat pocket that matched one of the elf-hats on the material. I scanned a section of the fabric into my computer, enlarged it to pocket-size, and duplicated the elf-hat in satin, fur, felt, grosgrain ribbon, and added a little gold buckle.What a great summer this has been. Yet, summer has waned. Here it is Labor Day Weekend and I realize I now have to get back to giving workshops for writers, drafting a new novel (a Fantasy Romance), and sewing for next year's fairs.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The Self-educated Writer
Here's something interesting that I learned a long, long time ago at a conference: There I was, recommending a book to a writer that dealt with a particular craft element she was trying to understand. That writer then said something to the effect that she never used how-to books, she wanted to learn as she wrote. Okay, I thought to myself, to each their own. However, I would rather learn from those who know and who are willing to share their knowledge in a book (or workshop) that teaches (not preaches) because I, personally, don't have years to waste going around in circles.
With the ever-changing publishing industry, now more than ever a writer must become a proficient self-editor and a savvy user of the devices and techniques of fiction and storytelling. That means educating oneself by taking classes, going to workshops, going to conferences, and reading how-to books. Correction--don't just read those how-to books, STUDY them so the learning curve goes from 5% to 85-95%. It's a fact that when a person reads a book or attends a workshop, they walk away with only 5% of the knowledge given--unless they take copious notes. Which means, to up the retention, note-taking is a must as is creating personalized "cheat sheets" to ensure the technique or device is learned and correctly used. Not an easy task by any means because a lot of the craft elements require weeks, months, or even years to master.
After all, a person who has never jogged once around the block doesn't sign up for the Boston Marathon the day before the race.
With the ever-changing publishing industry, now more than ever a writer must become a proficient self-editor and a savvy user of the devices and techniques of fiction and storytelling. That means educating oneself by taking classes, going to workshops, going to conferences, and reading how-to books. Correction--don't just read those how-to books, STUDY them so the learning curve goes from 5% to 85-95%. It's a fact that when a person reads a book or attends a workshop, they walk away with only 5% of the knowledge given--unless they take copious notes. Which means, to up the retention, note-taking is a must as is creating personalized "cheat sheets" to ensure the technique or device is learned and correctly used. Not an easy task by any means because a lot of the craft elements require weeks, months, or even years to master.
After all, a person who has never jogged once around the block doesn't sign up for the Boston Marathon the day before the race.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
To Facebook or Not To Facebook
The question for me over the past couple of years had been: to join Facebook or not to join Facebook. Oh, I'd listened to the pros and cons but decided it was one more hassle I didn't have time for. And then I attended the May 2011 Pennwriters conference where just about everyone was abuzz about networking and setting up networks through Linked-In, Facebook, and Twitter. There were also several workshops on the subject of Internet networking. So, as of today, I caved and set up a Facebook page. I even updated my existing Linked-In page. My intent is to keep the Facebook page for "readers," family, and friends and the Linked-in for my "professional image" as a workshop instructor, speaker, and educator. As to Twitter? I'll tackle that one another day. Now to get around to inviting folks to my Facebook network . . .
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Workshops and more workshops
I just realized it was April. That's how busy I've been with giving workshops, both online and in person. I have two more workshops to do this spring, one this coming weekend and then the May 15 (Sunday morning) workshop at the Pennwriters Annual Conference in Pittsburgh (www.Pennwriters.com)--the topic is "Passivity, a Different Way to Look at Show-Don't-Tell."
I have also agreed to give an online workshop for the Young Voice Foundation. "Questing for a Story" will deal with Developed Short Story, which has a beginning, a middle, and an ending. This workshop will be a first for me: I've never coached kids on writing. Sure, I've worked with and coached 4-Hers (I'm a 4-H leader, have been for a total of 14 years now), but that's always been face-to-face and hands-on, not online. More information on this workshop will appear around the first of August at my website, www.WritersCheatSheets.com.
I have also agreed to give an online workshop for the Young Voice Foundation. "Questing for a Story" will deal with Developed Short Story, which has a beginning, a middle, and an ending. This workshop will be a first for me: I've never coached kids on writing. Sure, I've worked with and coached 4-Hers (I'm a 4-H leader, have been for a total of 14 years now), but that's always been face-to-face and hands-on, not online. More information on this workshop will appear around the first of August at my website, www.WritersCheatSheets.com.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Heidi's Pick 6 List
Go to http://heidirubymiller.blogspot.com/2011/01/heidis-pick-six-catherine-e-mclean.html and you'll find me on Heidi's Pick Six list!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Workshop Title Announced
"Passivity--A different look at what's meant by Show-Don't-Tell" will be the topic of my workshop at the May 13-15, 2011, Pennwriters Conference in Pittsburgh. Information on the conference is available at www.Pennwriters.com
Flash Fiction Story Sold
Happy New Year to me! I'm starting off 2011 with a light-hearted, flash fiction short story sale to "Golden Visions" -- an online quarterly for science fiction and fantasy. "Just Desserts" will appear in the January-February-March edition, soon to be out at www.goldenvisionsmagazine.biz
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
It's Amazing
Well, I am amazed. Dumbfounded actually. In my August 21 blog, I complained about having to manually remove the unwanted spammers putting links to their sites in the comments area of my blog entries. Well, it's stopped. And none have appeared for weeks now. So, it looks like I won't be switching blog hosts after all.
Okay, so that nagging little voice in the back of my head is laughing and saying something equally troublesome will take it's place because spammers and hackers live to frustrate ordinary blog-citizens like me.
Catherine
Okay, so that nagging little voice in the back of my head is laughing and saying something equally troublesome will take it's place because spammers and hackers live to frustrate ordinary blog-citizens like me.
Catherine
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